I doubt that I have to tell you that our culture has trouble listening.

Turn on the news and it’s abundantly clear. Even at family gatherings, lack of empathic listening can lead to hostility and resentment. And in the business world, not listening closely leads to conflict, dissatisfied customers, and missed opportunities.

So why do we have trouble listening effectively?

According to psychologists, the reasons are varied and often complex:

• Lack of trust
• Anger or aggression
• Cognitive dissonance: people reject information that is different than what they thought to be true
• A sense of superiority or self-importance
• The way people talk, such as too fast, too quietly, or using too many filler words

The fact is, we’re all guilty of ineffective listening at times, particularly when we don’t trust the source or cognitive dissonance is at play. We owe it to ourselves – and the people around us – to pay close attention to our listening skills and improve where we can.

A focus on listening can lead to:

• More effective teamwork
• Higher productivity
• Fewer conflicts and errors
• Increased trust
• Enhanced innovation and problem-solving
• Improved recruiting and retention
• Better leadership
• Superior customer relations

Listening is not just a nice thing to do, it’s essential!

Research on emotional intelligence has found that leaders actually “infect” the workplace – for better or for worse – with their attitudes and energy. To understand and influence these flows of emotions and motivational states, leaders need to be able to practice empathic listening skills.

In his seminal book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey cites numerous examples of successful business deals and resolved workplace issues in pointing out the importance and power of active listening versus mechanical, or perfunctory, listening.  He also acknowledges that it takes time and practice to become adept at listening empathically.

Here are my 7 tips for sharpening your listening skills:

• Listening is beyond just hearing. Focus on what is being said, but also concentrate on how the speaker is saying it. Make a mental note of tone, word choice, and body language.
• Be fully engaged in listening. Active listening means fully engaging with the speaker. Maintain eye contact. Remove any distractions, including opportunities to multi-task. Limit note taking if possible.
• Strive to understand. Express genuine interest in what is being said, and ask follow-up questions as needed to clarify points. Use this as an opportunity to learn.
• Encourage the speaker to elaborate. Practice using any phrase that elicits something more than a “yes” or “no” response, such as: “Tell me more about…” “How did you feel when…” or “What do you mean when you say…”
• Listen more than talk.  There is a wise saying, “You were given two ears and one mouth. Use them proportionally.”  Listening more and speaking less is critical to building relationships, learning, and cultivating the art of listening.
• Show that you’re listening. Use your body language and gestures to convey attention. Nod occasionally, smile, and use other positive facial expressions.  Note your posture, and make sure it is open and inviting. Try not to interrupt.
• Respond appropriately. Active listening is a model for respect and understanding, to learn and gain perspective. Summarize the speaker’s points periodically during the conversation. If feedback is warranted, be candid in your responses while treating the other person with dignity and respect.

Clearly, listening is a skill that we can all benefit from improving. By becoming a better listener, you will learn more about yourself and your business and build stronger relationships with people affiliated with your business. You will also be rewarded with an entirely new level of communication skills.

At Celeste Giordano Coaching, I teach my clients these very strategies that are needed to build a Legacy Business and live their best lives, in and outside the office. If you’d like to Double Plus your income this year, all while creating a lifestyle that allows you to spend time doing the things you love with the people you love most, contact me today.